Amid almost constant rumors that serial mother, Angelina Jolie, is either pregnant or looking to nab another baby from some lucky third world country any minute, it looks like she’s also managed a cinematic home run with her latest, “A Mighty Heart” (noise).
The movie, released Friday, features Jolie in a curly dark wig playing Mariane Pearl, wife of slain Wall Street Journal reporter, Daniel Pearl. I caught the actress on Larry King Live recently where she very gravely discussed how very sensitively made the movie is and just how SERIOUSLY she took the whole production. And, my initial reaction to the interview was pretty much the same as it was to the movie. A big “WhatEV.” Because, seriously? How many more photos of the cadaverous Jolie with adoptees clinging to her are we going to have to be subjected to? Not to mention photos of her looking all Madonna (the original, not Mrs. Ritchie)-like with her hair piously covered as she crouches, make-up free but still somehow fabulous, amongst the needy?
Has the world actually managed to forget that this is the same Angelina Jolie who tongue-kissed her own brother (left) and not only married Billy Bob Thorton, but also wore a vial of his blood around her neck? Not to mention stole the husband of America’s sweetheart by rhythmically swinging her empty uterus in his face, “You’re getting veeerrrry sleepy and I’m going to be needing a genetically perfect baby to add to my collection….”
However, just as I had to cop to the fact that Angelina’s swollen pouty lips are very likely natural, a genetic trait inherited from her mother, it looks like I’m going to have to give “A Mighty Heart” a serious look. All of my sources point to “winner” on this one. And we all know what happens when a great performance is also politically timely.
Say it with me: Oscar.
Ten bucks says she manages to either work her own actual authentic baby bump into her Oscar gown or, alternatively, have a brand new needy orphan in tow by that time, thus cementing her status as saint and pretty much ensuring an Oscar statue for an actress in a LEADING role.
The movie, released Friday, features Jolie in a curly dark wig playing Mariane Pearl, wife of slain Wall Street Journal reporter, Daniel Pearl. I caught the actress on Larry King Live recently where she very gravely discussed how very sensitively made the movie is and just how SERIOUSLY she took the whole production. And, my initial reaction to the interview was pretty much the same as it was to the movie. A big “WhatEV.” Because, seriously? How many more photos of the cadaverous Jolie with adoptees clinging to her are we going to have to be subjected to? Not to mention photos of her looking all Madonna (the original, not Mrs. Ritchie)-like with her hair piously covered as she crouches, make-up free but still somehow fabulous, amongst the needy?
Has the world actually managed to forget that this is the same Angelina Jolie who tongue-kissed her own brother (left) and not only married Billy Bob Thorton, but also wore a vial of his blood around her neck? Not to mention stole the husband of America’s sweetheart by rhythmically swinging her empty uterus in his face, “You’re getting veeerrrry sleepy and I’m going to be needing a genetically perfect baby to add to my collection….”However, just as I had to cop to the fact that Angelina’s swollen pouty lips are very likely natural, a genetic trait inherited from her mother, it looks like I’m going to have to give “A Mighty Heart” a serious look. All of my sources point to “winner” on this one. And we all know what happens when a great performance is also politically timely.
Say it with me: Oscar.
Ten bucks says she manages to either work her own actual authentic baby bump into her Oscar gown or, alternatively, have a brand new needy orphan in tow by that time, thus cementing her status as saint and pretty much ensuring an Oscar statue for an actress in a LEADING role.
Which, let’s face it, has to be the final step in her plan for Total World Domination.
2 comments:
I'm not betting against that ten bucks. Nope. No way, no how.
Great essay there on the evolution of Ms. Jolie. I first heard of her when she was married to Billy Bob and they were supposedly having wild crazy violent sex all over the place. Or whatever. Then the next time I noticed, she was Saint Angelina, collecting kids almost as assiduously as Mia Farrow. (BTW, was I the only one who found St. Mama Mia the teensiest bit, er, strange?)
But at least Jolie's lips seem to be natural. Can't believe how many celeb women have really forked up their looks by getting fake fat lips.
Thanks, suz! I didn't mention that time Jolie and Billy Bob admitted to sex in the limo on the way over to some red carpet or another. I think they thought they were hot, but I was just completely skeeved out by the whole thing...EW!
As for Mia Farrow, don't get me started. Although? I do recommend her memoir "What Falls Away". A real page turner and seemingly honest account of her life and how she got that way.
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