With the S-Man again out of town [insert snoopy dance] I'm finally getting around to dealing with a very large formerly sea-going problem that has been plaguing me for some time now. You may recall that there has been a pointy-nosed sail fish in my living room for darn near two months. With the yard sale over, Satan evidently couldn't bear the thought of being without a bunch of ridiculous crap we don't need and immediately began replenishing the supply by purchasing an ancient stuffed and mounted fish. The thing is about five feet long and, coincidentally, the most hideous thing you've ever seen.
But I've blogged all that before.
And so it was that today, while talking with a prospective employer I ended the conversation by saying,
"It's not like I don't have anything to do today. I've got to get that damn sail fish tucked into Satan's side of the bed before he gets home."
To which the prospective employer replied,
"You ARE going to post a picture, right?"
Which of course is a big hell yes.
It all sounds like a simple proposition, but turns out not so much. The thing is so heavy, not to mention oddly shaped, that I couldn't even begin to lift it straight-on.
The dolly didn't work either.
Not to be outdone, I finally wedged a rolling plant stand under the plaque the thing is mounted on and got it rolled to the bedroom door, my trusty assistant, FurGirl, panting gleefully at my side. Tragically, we lost that loose back tail fin in the process. (It was practically off anyway. Pinky swear.)
Unfortunately, that's about as far as we got because I couldn't manage to wedge the thing into the bedroom door what with that annoyingly large fully inflated dorsal fin thingy on it's ugly-assed back in the way, not to mention its big, pointy nose.
And now I have a lunch meeting (don't laugh, I still do have meetings now and then). And the fish is still wedged in the hallway.
Basically, here's where we are:
As you can see, HamBone there is still determined to include herself in every picture. The fish is actually considerably bigger than it looks in that picture and, trust me, is a real bitch to maneuver. I haven't given up yet, though.
Stay tuned.
2 comments:
Um, you need to recruit some brawn to help with that little project.
Hope you haven't been hurt by that monstronsity again. I think it's probably stored up a lot of bad energy from being first killed and then stuffed by humans and then fastened to a bleepin plaque.
Maybe you need to also recruit an exorcist.
If you find one with muscles, all the better.
Good luck!
Great stuff. I feel your pain. Yesterday I carted 15 garbage bags of clothes to the Salvation Army in a very feeble attempt to clean out my storage building. I'm exhausted today.
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