The Whole Truth

Today, I was asked for a book back that was loaned to me by a good friend. I had taken it from her about three months ago with every intention of reading it. Instead, the book never made it out of the car and has lurked there lo these last three long months.

And, having been patient with me for so long, this same friend now asked for the book back in order that she could share it with another friend who might actually, oh I don't know, maybe read it?

For those of you still with me, you know that this meant that I was going to have to fish the book out of my car.

Is that a problem you ask? Is there some reason why you, the most organized blogger EVER (reference my last post), would have a problem retrieving a book from your car?

And the answer to that question is yes. Yes, I actually would consider that a problem. Because while my skivvies are folded and organized by color and type and my collectible textiles are righteously tucked away in air tight bags, and my junk drawer is a sight Martha Stewart would envy, the hatchback of my car?

Well, the hatchback of my car looks like this:

I have no explanation. I really don't.

It's been this way for at least four months. No kidding. I can't even GROCERY SHOP with my car because I can't actually WEDGE grocery sacks in there. I have to borrow Satan's car if I want to do stocking up of any major proportion. Unless, of course, I'd like to rent a u-haul.

It makes absolutely no sense that my linen closet somehow became a near constant and totally undeniable irritant while the state of my car, a virtual rolling trash can that I ride around in every single day, just does not phase me.

I will say that there are advantages, though. Let's examine the contents, shall we? Petrified Rice Crispy Treats? I hate to state the obvious, but you never know when you might need a snack. A spent container that used to house a Bath and Body Works Christmas candle? Hey, when it gets REALLY hot, my car might start to smell like Christmas again. A pre-stuffed briefcase? Will do nicely as a makeshift pillow on those long, boring road trips. The box my cell phone came in two years ago? Can I just say a thousand and one uses?

Too bad I can't gas up my linen closet and drive IT around. Because, the truth is, I just am sort of unable to deal with vehicular clutter. Always have been. It brings to mind an incident that happened about twenty five years ago before even my starter marriage.

Actually, it was on the occassion of my starter marriage that my cousin David came up north to where I was living at the time to attend the ill-fated nuptials. Once he got to town, the starter husband and I roared over to his hotel in our 1974 Mercury Marquis, certainly one of the biggest American made cars ever manufactured. The car had recently lost a muffler and the resulting engine noise was so loud that one couldn't actually converse inside the car while it was running. (Seriously. We had to shut it off to place an order at any drive-thru. And we did that alot.)

Anway, at the hotel, we explained to him and my other cousins that were along about the engine noise as we were heading to the car. We all piled in and the SH turned the key and the engine roared to deafening life. I don't think that, up until that moment, they actually BELIEVED the car was that loud. What I had neglected to mention was that the car MIGHT HAVE BEEN just a TAD messy as well.

We drove to our destination amid the trash and the deafening noise. When we arrived, and the SH finally turned off the key, I turned to look back at my passengers who were, the three of them, sitting in the back seat knee deep in MacDonald's fast food burger containers, empty cigarette packs, and about a case or two of empty beer cans.

As the engine noise finally died away and the ringing in our ears subsided, David took a look around car (remember, it was big) and partially lifted one foot out of the rubble. It just then occurred to me that, yah, maybe I should have at least shoveled out the car. In the shocked silence that followed David looked at me and said,

"Well. I will say this for you guys. You for sure don't litter."

Yep. Still don't.