How to Have a Perfect Mother's Day

1. Sleep in, but not so late that the morning is over when you get up.


2. Sip stout coffe with cream whilst the S-Man reads hilariously cutting quotes to you from his new book "The Big Curmudgeon". My personal favorite: I'm gonna memorize your name, then throw away my head.-Oscar Levant.


3. Realize it is a perfect spring day while watering plants on the balcony.


4. Skip down to the neighborhood coffee shop to purchase fresh strawberry shortcake made with berries from the Farmer's Market.


5. Admire Satan's newly planted rose garden.


6. Discover a sweet, loving happy mother's day message from your stepson, Matt, on your cell phone voice mail.


7. Receive a surprise visit from your son bearing a beautiful card and a gift sack full of wonderfully scented candles. When you open the sack it plays, "How Sweet it Is to be Loved by You" . You open the sack. A lot.


8. Entertain your mother on the balcony with a box luch you both walked down together and picked up at The Stranded Cow restaurant.


9. Eat the strawberry shortcake for dessert.


10. Receive an extremely delightful happy mother's day call from stepson, David.

(Repeat steps 1-10 whenever possible.)

Editor's Note: Step number ten was changed after publication because getting a call from David is even better than an afternoon of repotting on the balcony.