In the name of Science

I thought I was seeing things yesterday when I received this text message from a friend:

How would you like a pap smear and a check for $40?

Um, excuse me?

Turns out, Four Rivers Clinical Research is conducting clinical trials and yes, indeedy, you can not only get a free pap smear, but they will pay you for the privilege. And, while it's true I have an expensive baby in layaway (Mommy's coming, Tallulah!), I'm still not real jazzed about raising funds in that particular fashion. Besides, I had my check-up in December.

But my friends? Ya'll, they are not right. These girls could not get their panties off quickly enough. They were over to the FRCR and outta there with a check before you could say, "Can you warm that up, please?" Frankly, I think they would have been just as happy doing it for $20 and a lolly.

But, seriously, whether it's something you've been putting off for a while (yes, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE I SEE YOU OUT THERE), don't have insurance, or just enjoy a good bargain, call Caron at FRCR at 270-441-4606 and make an appointment. It's quick, easy, and you'll receive your confidential results in a few weeks. Show your Lady Station and your bank account the love all at the same time.

Oh, don't need the money? Good, gather up your girlfriends and donate the proceeds to your favorite charity. When else are you you going to get the opportunity to help save the world with your own personal Front Butt?