Sunday, March 01, 2009

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho...

That's right, people, it's back to work I go!

And not a minute too soon either. Note to yourselves: My latest job came to pass as a direct result of this blog and a comment I made in this post (1st paragraph, last sentence). While I am a woman who almost never mixes blogging with work, I will say the time to be publicity shy is not during a job search. Make sure everybody you know (and everybody they know) knows you are on the hunt and never underestimate the power of the people who may or may not be visiting your website. Sing it, shout it, put it on a tee-shirt. And for heaven's sake, make sure you can produce a good looking updated resume at a moment's notice.

Today? I'm the expert. Last week? My Mom was coaxing me out from under my bed with a sack of Twizzlers.

Kidding.

But seriously folks, since I wrote back in December about my wildly unexpected ill-timed lay-off (after which all my friends and family were treated to Post-It notes with "love ya" written on them in red Sharpie from me for Christmas) my philosophy has, in all honesty, really been put to the test. You know? My whole "Do your best and the universe will take care of you" philosophy? The whole "Be in the moment" thing? Yah.

I've had a few moments.

But only a few. You don't spend as much time as I have these last few years acting as an Official Third-Tier Punching Bag for the Amusement of the Universe without a) Developing a much more finely honed sense of humor and b) Just plain old getting used to it.

And, anyway, I believed the Universe would take care of me and it did, didn't it?

Whether or not it took its sweet-assed time is a whole 'nother question.

Then there was that whole NATURAL DISASTER in between. Nice touch, Universe! I gotta admit, it is sort of a challenge to find a job during a natural disaster. People aren't hiring so much when they're, oh I don't know, trying not to die of hypothermia for two weeks in their cold, dark houses! Ha-ha, Universe! Good one! You got me there! Nothing like foraging for kerosene to take your mind off a job search!

But things are looking up now.

They really are. Waaaaay up. Because right around the time I found a job? I starting flunking a class. That's right, me, woman who never flunked anything, flunked a test. Guess, gah-head, just GUESS what class I'm flunking (oh ha ha this is SO funny). Heck you already know anyway--ASTRONOMY--otherwise known as the study of the -- say it with me:

UNIVERSE!

Oh the irony! Oy the pain!

Oh. Mygod.

So, if you'll permit me, I'd just like to say to my good buddy the Universe (who apparently needs to take the stage at The Improv) that I think Jupiter is a big, fat, baby, sissy chicken planet! Okay? And I think that big, swirly, red storm dot is just STUPID, that's what! It's embarrassing, even if you can fit two Earths inside of it. I think it's a real load of CRAP that you can't stand on Jupiter's surface, okay? What--Jupiter thinks it's a big shot with all that liquid metallic hydrogen and at least sixty-three moons? Hey! I got your "Ganymede" right here!

(But thanks for the paycheck. 'preciate it.)

6 comments:

keena said...

Way to go, earth girl. Best post ever, and that is saying a lot.

Bruce Wayne Gardner said...

Second the motion(celestial motion?) and move for a vote. All those in favor, please get up off the floor where you're been rolling ...

Rhonda said...

Welcome back to the club: the I-loth-Sunday-nights-because-tommorrow-it's-back-to-work club. We've missed you.

Suzanne said...

Noooo....not THAT club! I'm in the can't-wait-'til-Monday club. Right now. (la, la, la, I can't HEAR you...!)

Patience-please said...

Congratulations!

Jeanna said...

Congrats! Please email me with sordid details...