Catching Up

I’m not quite sure why things seem to really be sliding out of my control lately. Full time work and full time school are leaving me little time for reflection and blogging. Here’s a brief synopsis of what’s up with me:

I got a Blackberry. Like I needed one. I can’t figure out how to work it beyond the most rudimentary of tasks. If you’re trying to call and I’m not answering? This is why.

I passed Astronomy. Holy sh!t. The final was a bunny, thank God, and allowed me to pull the whole thing out of the crapper at the very last minute. I was seriously sweating that one.

I ate at Martin Fierro Argentinean Grille for the first time a while back. It was, by far, the most meatastic experience of my life. While the menu boasts fourteen varieties of meat at a sitting, we were treated to only nine. NINE. Our waitress helpfully explained, before the meat parade began, that we would be actually eating our way through the cow starting at the ass. Not sure, but I think this was supposed to whet our appetites. But cow’s not all! Oh no! We also had chicken, pork, sausage, and lamb. By meat five, my heart was sluggishly lurching around in my chest like a seasick tourist. Don’t get me wrong, the meat was delicious, I just don’t think anybody needs THAT MUCH MEAT at a sitting. (Or even in a week, let’s be honest.)

Speaking of a healthy diet, I have placed the Amish at least partially in charge of my produce choices. I missed the February deadline for signing up for the Amish Vegetable Cooperative a program whereby, one pays the Amish, and they, in turn, provide you with 22 weeks of slow-food organic produce, whatever is in season. Fortunately, the Amish had mercy on my late self (unlike the POElease) and accepted my order passed the deadline. According to the contract, here’s what I can expect:

In spring, cool weather crops like mesclun mix, radishes, green onions, and dark leafy greens; followed closely with strawberries, broccoli, new potatoes, cabbage, and squash. As the season becomes warmer—heirloom tomatoes, beans, sweet corn, peppers, sweet onions, eggplant, melons, and blackberries. As cooler weather approaches, sweet potatoes and winter squash along with melons, tomatoes and peppers continuing. The season will close with cool weather crops again like lettuce, greens sweet carrots, radishes, cabbage, Chinese cabbage and more.

How delicious does that sound?

Yesterday? I was driving down Highway 60 on the over pass (if you’re not local, this is a four-lane highway, as big as roads get in these here parts) when off the right median the biggest turkey I’ve ever seen in my life starts leisurely goose-stepping its way across the road. While deer are a common sight in these parts, turkeys are usually a bit more timid. Not, however, this turkey. It was HUUUGE and all like, “That’s right, bitches, you can just stop right now, because Mama’s headed to the other side.” Miss Thang the turkey, would manage to stop all four lanes of traffic in both directions before it was over without so much as a glance in our direction. I suspect, had I stood next to the bird, her head would have easily reached my shoulder. It was quite a spectacle.

My cousin was the victim of a hair crime last week. I received a panicked call just after work wherein she informed me she HAD A MULLET. We took immediate action and ended up at a mall salon where a nervous but fortunately competent young stylist managed to fix the situation by giving her a modified bob saving much more hair than we had first anticipated would be possible. The stylist chatted nonstop during the remedial cutting and styling process and informed us, among many other things, that the word “mullet” is now the equivalent of a cuss word in most salons. As in many stylists won’t even say the word “mullet” and those stylists that do will only whisper it.