It has been pointed out to me by a certain anonymous and occassionally devilish party that there are those that could possibly take the whole "Satan" thing the wrong way. As in the biblical fire and brimstone "epitomy-of-evil kind" of way. Someone, God forbid, could actually confuse my very own husband with Lucifer himself, causing a whole host of non-merry mix-ups possibly culminating with actual real life consequences for very own selves.
And, while I concur that the pen is certainly mightier than the sword, I really don't think that even the most fundamental and/or pentecostal among us would read my writing here and actually come away thinking the whole "Satan" thing is anything other than what it is. And, people, what it is is (now hear this): A JOKE. Me! Kidding! Not serious! But kidding! I did not marry the dark lord of hell! No! But rather I married an entirely lesser demon who, at best, can merely be categorized as possibly (and only occassionally) "meaner than a junkyard dog" which, as we know is not really mean as much as just in need of a good flea dip, a fresh bucket of water, and a scratch behind the ears now and then.
Which is not to say that I don't take these things seriously. Because I do. When the certain unidentified party brought his (or her) concerns about the term "Satan" to me, I became truly alarmed and conducted an informal poll of all five of my readers. And, lo and behold, ALL FIVE were aware that the whole "Satan" thing was A JOKE! Not serious! But a joke!
When questioned further on whether or not they thought ANYONE would actually SERIOUSLY be offended by the term "Satan" as it has been used in my blog they were all surprised at the thought that ANYONE would see it for anything other than what it is which is a joke! Not serious! But a joke!
Of course, we must take into account the fact that all five of my readers are of above average intelligence and exceptionally quick witted and thus catch on rapidly to the unspoken subtext of the JOKE. So, (according to the unidentified party) there could be OTHER, UNKNOWN PERSONS reading this blog who are actually coming away thinking, yes, this poor woman is in fact married to the Prince of Darkness.
A worst case scenario would go something like this:
Ethel! This here girl married the devil!
Says so right in this here blog thingy. Says "my husband Satan".
(now truly alarmed) Oh, no, Joe Bob, the poor thing!
Yep, been married to him a while. Look, this here's his pitcher.
Haven't we seen him on TV?
My God, Ethel, I think you're right. Call the preacher! We got to do something about this here situation!
(hits star 1 on the phone--Ethel and Joe Bob have the preacher on speed dial)
Brother Billy Joe? Yes, this here's Ethel. We think we have located the devil and he's right here in our midst!
BROTHER BILLY JOE
My God, Ethel, we must convene an emergency prayer meetin'!
Me and Joe Bob are just fit to be tied! We've seen the devil on TV and also on the innernet!
BROTHER BILLY JOE
What does the Dark Lord look like?
Just regular. Except! He's a-wearin' some of them there Birkenstocks!
BROTHER BILLY JOE
That's him for sure!
And, well, you can take it from there. In my own defense, all I can say is: I DO NOT BELIEVE IN SATAN. Therefore, the term does not have a whole lot of power for me and, frankly, I find it a bit amusing. In a kind of a cartoonish sort of way. Which is why every time my cell phone rings and the caller ID actually says, "Satan Calling", it never fails to amuse me.
But I digress. The point is this: I will hereafter never again refer to my husband in this blog as "Satan". And, resisting the temptation to re-christen him "Lucifer" (har!), he will now forevermore be referred to here as