Sunday, June 18, 2006

Chasing Harold (and Maude)

Last summer, I made a new friend outside on my balcony. Harold, a hummingbird, was partial to my bright pink petunias and angel wing begonia. Harold was a pretty regular visitor all last year and, once or twice, darn near flew into my eyeball.

So, this year, when I put my plants out, I was naturally hoping my little friend would come back.

Unfortunately, someone else was too. A very competitive someone else.

That’s right, the uber competitive MisterT.

And so, when Harold made his first appearance of the year on MY balcony hovering around the Lantana, it was big news around these parts. And, not to be outdone a second year in a row, the cheating, black hearted MisterT ran right on out to the store and bought himself, guess what:

Yep, a hummingbird feeder. He hung it on HIS balcony and, sure enough, not two hours later I spied MY Harold, the sugar eating slut, all a-twitter and orgasmically slurping on MisterT's gaudy cheap-assed plastic flower:

That was yesterday. Today, as MisterT and I sat on his balcony enjoying the storm, a frantic rain soaked Harold flew up to get another fix.

Only THIS TIME, he brought along his girlfriend, Maude:

And, all I have to say about that is:

Don't call ME when it's time to check into the Betty Hummingbird Center. Call your "good friend" MisterT who, I assure you, WILL NOT be around to pick up the pieces.

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