Monday, October 17, 2005

Tiny Bubbles

A couple of years ago, without warning, Satan and I were seized with what I can only call Tiny Fever (or, alternatively, a bad case of the Yuletide Tinies). Specifically, we suddenly and without warning became obsessed with acquiring and displaying a tiny Christmas village. At the time, I had recently quit smoking so face it…I was just plain loony, probably too much oxygen to the brain. I’m not sure what Satan’s excuse was.

But, anyway, there we were in the seasonal section of Walmart, having a conversation that went like, “Did you get a tiny post office”? “No, what do you think about the tiny fire station?” “We DO HAVE a tiny city hall, right?” “Yes, we DEFINITELY need the tiny post office; how many buildings do we have so far?” “Ten.” “How ‘bout you give up the tiny drug store for the tiny post office?” “NO WAY, the tiny drug store STAYS”, “How ‘bout you put the tiny school house back?” “Like you can even HAVE a tiny Christmas village without the tiny schoolhouse, what are you, NUTS?”, etc.

By the time it was all over, our kids were amazed to find on display on the deep shelf of our bay window that year, a tiny glowing Christmas village complete with fire station, city hall, AND tiny schoolhouse. They were basically like, “Wha…?” And we were all, “We’re not sure how it happened”.

Since then, we’ve learned to avoid the “tiny Christmas village” aisle at Walmart or any other store. In fact, we don’t even speak of the Tiny Christmas Village Incident. If we DO pass an unavoidable tiny Christmas display we both experience a little shiver. We’ve never again actually displayed the tiny Christmas village. And, I really thought we were going to be okay. Until I went to Walmart this weekend.


That’s right, TINY PUMPKINS.

I tried to walk away, I really did. But resistance was futile.

When Satan saw them, he was all superior. Rolled his eyes in response to my question as to whether or not he’d noticed them. And for him I only have one question, “Who wants a Mini-Cooper, huh?”

Stop us before we Tiny again.

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