Dying. (On the inside.)

A recent cell phone call.


(ringggg....)


EX-MAN
Hello?


ME
Hello?


EX-MAN
Hello?


ME
Hey! How are you?


EX-MAN
Oh, pretty good.


ME
What do you mean?


EX-MAN
You know, feelin' pretty cheerful.


ME
But...aren't you dying inside?


EX-MAN
Say what?


ME
DYING INSIDE. You know. From sorrow and heartache? Because you miss me?


EX-MAN
Oh! DYING INSIDE. Yes. Yes, absolutely.


ME
Well. I sensed that.


EX-MAN
So...are we final?


ME
You mean as in SWEET MARITAL FREEDOM? Is it ours?


EX-MAN
Yep.


ME
We could be! I don't know. Haven't heard anything.


EX-MAN
So, we could be free.


ME
It's possible.


EX-MAN
And not even know it.


ME
Could be. At any moment. Maybe even this moment.

EX-MAN
Did you get the income tax return taken care of?

ME
Welll....no.

EX-MAN
NO?

ME
I filed us an extension. I've been, um, busy.

EX-MAN
So I read, Miss Tequila Shots.

ME
Yah, well, drowning my sorrows and all that. Uh-oh! Getting another call!

EX-MAN
Uh-huh.

ME
You take care now. And cheer up, would you? Except for...

EX-MAN
The dying inside part?

ME
I expect that can't be helped.

EX-MAN
It's just one of those things.

(clicks)