Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Night of the Living Joan

First off, congratulate me, I'm WORKING! I mean at home, like I'm supposed to be.

I've been a very good girl today: productive and industrious and Getting Things Done. Things that are not related to Christmas or household chores, but real, true work-related things! It feels good to be productive and I remain amazed at how difficult it is to be that way in one's own home as opposed to an office. Maybe I'll get the hang of it some day.

Anyway, that didn't prevent me from starting a little post for today about Botox. I have my priorities, after all. I was going to call it, "To B. or Not to B."--HA! I kill me sometimes! I swear I do.

So, I'm prattling away on my Botox post and I'm pretty much making fun of everybody that's over-Botoxed, especially the Bride of Botox, Mrs. Dr. Phil McGraw, whose face hasn't moved since some time in the late 90's, and I'm trolling around in Google images looking for a photo to post of the BofB when I come across something. Something so disturbing that all my little thoughts about Mrs. Dr. Phil and Nicole Kidman and all the other preternaturally smooth, night-of-the-living-dead, over-Botoxed people just fly right on out of my poor little head.

And, maybe I shouldn't, but since my whole Botox post is now kind of over, I figure you guys deserve to know.

About Joan Van Ark. Remember Joan? Heavily made-up but attractive resident of Knot's Landing? She used to look like this (when she lived in Knots Landing):

But now? Now, friends, I'm sorry to report that this is what's left of poor Joan:

Are you still with me? How horrifying is that? And is it really, really preferable to what she would look like naturally right now (Joan is age 64)? Sadly, along with her obvious fondness for plastic surgery, Joan also looks to have given up solid foods:

Poor Joan. I don't really think she has much to lose by having a cheeseburger now and then.

I don't have a clever wrap up for this post beyond, just, WTF? Is it really so horrifying for a woman to age that looking like a Halloween version of one's self is preferable?


Mary Thorsby said...

Ouch. Ouch, ouch, ouch. Poor Valene. That is dreadful. Makes living with crow's feet -- oh, I mean wisdom lines -- a lot more appealing.

Brenda said...

OMG...poor JOAN!

Bubble Girl said...

Brings to mind that Meryl Streep/Goldie Hawn/Bruce Willis flick, "Death Becomes Her". Eeek.

Patience-please said...

Amazing - the mass hypnosis that allows people to look in the mirror after doing this to themselves, and believing they look better! Have you seen Kenny Rogers????

Brenda said...

...and Burt Reynolds?

Suzanne said...

Joan Rivers?

Suz said...

...even (sigh) Carol Burnett. Who doesn't look as bad as Joan (either Van Ark or Rivers), thank goodness, but still IMHO has had a little Too Much Work done.