Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Dinner Conversation

We had dinner with MisterT's son, David, who is going off to college this fall. Since he is pre-med, we spent a good deal of dinner calculating how long it would be until we could actually quit our day jobs, move in with him, and spend all day sitting on our necks watching The Sundance Channel and looking forward to the free medical treatment we will receive for the oozing neck sores we will no doubt develop.

I, personally, also spent some time dropping delicately couched, subtle hints as to the type of medicine David should probably practice i.e., “DUDE, a little brow lift here, a little liposuction there, I can’t hold on much longer…”

David remains, as always, unmoved by my plight.

He has, however, internalized my own personal “drinking rules” that I have lived by, lo, these many years. When the subject of wild nekkid liquor parties came up, he was to his credit, actually able to recite the rules based on a short seminar that I gave him at the beginning of the summer.

You, too, can avoid many an embarrassing situation if you live by these simple drinking rules:

-Do not drink (or “do”) shots. Ever.

-Do not play drinking games of any kind i.e., Quarters, beer bongs, etc.

-Do not “switch up”. This means do not start out drinking beer, then switch to, say, Tequila. You CAN, however “switch down”. Start out drinking Tequila and then switch to beer.

-Do not drink and drive or RIDE WITH anyone drinking and driving.

I give you this wisdom free of charge.

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