Hopelessly Devoted

Last night, as Satan and I were getting ready to leave the house to make an appearance at a neighborhood gathering, we had this conversation:

SATAN
(Tosses his wallet on to the counter.)
I don’t guess I'll need my wallet for anything.

ME
Oh, I think you’ll probably need it.

SATAN
Nah. I’m not going anywhere but back here after the thing.

ME
You probably ought to bring the wallet.

SATAN
Hey, we’re just going over for a little while, remember?

ME
I don’t think so.

SATAN
Well, I don’t know about YOU...

ME
Care to place a wager?

SATAN
A wager?

ME
A wager.

SATAN
(Pauses.)

ME
(Eyebrows raised.)

SATAN
(Begins to look a little sickly.)

ME
(Eyebrows still raised.)

SATAN
It’s not, uh…it can’t be…

ME
I’m afraid so.

SATAN
(Risks a panicky glance at the calendar on the opposite wall.)
So…the date today would be…

ME
The second. AUGUST SECOND.

SATAN
(Brightens suddenly.)
Hey! This means our TENTH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY is TOMORROW! Of course! TOMORROW! Yes, I’m well aware…

ME
Nice try. But, no.

SATAN
(Back to looking sickly.)
No, huh?

ME
No.

SATAN
(Picks up his wallet)

ME
I hope you’ve got a credit card in there.

SATAN
Say, you're not going to...

ME
blog this? OF COURSE NOT!