Wednesday, April 12, 2006

The Neatening

I’m trying to blog more. Can you tell?

Let’s see…the latest. I’m on a neatness tear. It all started with a messy junk drawer and is currently taking the form of a love affair with The Container Store. Go ahead on over there and check it out. Tell ‘em I sent you. I loves me some containers. Specifically, I LOVE my new spice rack, which doesn’t look like a spice holder as much as a lovely decorative bit of art that is actually really practical (and not at all expensive). Witness:

Those little cans are magnetized to stick to the metal which is in turn magnetized to stick to the refrigerator. Also, you can twist the tops to dispense the spices in a sprinkle or a pour as necessary. In other magnet news:

That’s right, a handy knife magnet which has freed up a world of counter space.

So, to summarize. Sick of your messy kitchen? Tired of having cluttered countertops? I recommend: magnets. Also? I challenge you to clean out your junk drawer. It will change your life. Take, for instance, the other day when I says to myself, “Damn, I could really use some electrical tape about now.” And then I realized, “Holy sh**! I actually know where the electrical tape IS!!” It was a heck of a moment.

I’ve also organized my utility closet and pantry. Fear me.

Through this whole process, I’ve discovered we have an insane amount of tape and glue in our possession. In fact, I’ve begun to wonder if Satan is maybe sneaking out at night and buying tape and glue and what his plans for these items might be. Seriously, we have epoxy and wood glue, scotch tape, the aforementioned electrical tape, the ever-popular duct tape, super glue, Elmer’s glue, packing tape, masking tape, and all this in multiple quantities. We have a huge amount of VELCRO. Velcro! Can you believe? See me for all your taping, gluing, and fastening needs.

Since I have so much on hand, I’ve tried to think of some sort of project involving tape and glue, but all I could come up with was a plan to affix Satan to the front of my car as a hood ornament. Which, while a great idea, and I certainly have the products to pull it off, it would be difficult to get him to be still long enough to apply all the tape and glue that would be necessary. He’s squirmy. And generally uncooperative.

Anyway, back to the (extremely exciting) subject at hand. Stay tuned for more organizational tips as this current obsession of mine, sadly, shows no sign of letting up any time soon. I know--you can hardly wait, right?

Otherwise, I’m on the verge of embarking on a vacation. I’ll be leaving for San Antonio, Texas, city of Satan’s birth, to visit his family and also to accompany him to a professional conference. We’re taking off on Friday. And, no, no matter what you might have heard, Satan WAS ABSOLUTELY NOT raised by a pack of jackals in the west Texas wilderness until the age of eleven when he was taken in by monks. No, there are actual fairly normal looking PEOPLE on the planet and living in San Antonio who, when pressed, will claim him as kinfolk.

As you might imagine, I’m a little apprehensive about being so far from home and in such close proximity to Satan (we’re not returning for a while) for so long. So, you know, think of me, will you? We’re taking a laptop and I’m hoping to blog while I’m away.

Check back soon for updates from exotic San Antonio.

I'll leave you with an exciting image from my (former) junk drawer:

Try to contain yourself.

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